Feeling Sorry

I was in the mall awhile ago. I send a money which is actually an errand from my sister. Prior to that, I received a text and suddenly got me frustrated again.

Ignoring the text message....

I felt hungry after sending the money, so I went to eat in one of the fast food chain and I decided to reply to the message. I noticed when I was typing the words, my tears are starting to fall and here again with my unidentified pain. All I knew was that at that time I have an angry heart.

So, the reply message was sent.

Then, I ate and when I check my phone again there was a missed call.

I thought that the person got mad at me for the text message she received but she told me she's not mad.

So I went out in the fast food chain and I walked home. My first time to walk home after a month of that traumatic incident.

I keep on thinking of somewhat reverse situation. Would they care if really something happen? Do they really care?

If they knew they will only feel sorry but they can't change everything. Can I tell that to them also? Do I have the right to say NO. Did they think I am so selfish then let them think I am selfish, I can't please them all the time. So much angry words running in my head. Stuff like these kept on running in my head to such extent that I find myself dead end.

Erase erase erase....

That was not healthy at all.

I feel sorry for myself also for thinking like this. I used to be optimistic but my angry heart makes me pessimistic.

I feel sorry for causing pain with my love ones but I'm too angry to be happy at the moment. Its better to remain in silent.

I feel sorry for the person because I share a secret, it might be a burden to her.

I feel sorry that she has to sacrifice a lot more than I do.

I feel sorry for myself.