Monday run at the Capitol

I run early morning of Sunday but not near by the bay since around 6:00 in the morning there are employees who will be in the flag ceremony. I will not be able to run like what I did last time. I spotted the capitol as a good spot to run.

So, I took around 3 rounds of running the area but not that satisfied because from time to time I stop because there were dogs nearby and I'm afraid that they will bite me. Hehehe...

Sunrise run at the capitol

I'm looking forward for another day to run and experience the smile of Sun again.  

Run by the Bay

I was out of town for two weeks I think and my commitment for running has not stop because I'm out of town. In fact, it was a perfect place for me to do some running because I love the place.

Waking up early in the morning to see the sunrise and run along by the bay is a perfect spot. We went home again to Mama's hometown because she needs to deal with some important family matters. I tag along as her personal assistant (hehehe...) and I did not forget to bring my running shoes of course.

It was early morning the day after we arrived and I took my running shoes and walk through the bay. It was around 2 kilometer from the house of my Uncle, where we stay. Then I decided to run in the area while Mama was having brisk walking.

After the run I asked my mother to take some photo for me as a souvenir. =) I'm really having hard time running because first I need to loss some weight and second I need discipline to be able to commit in running. This is what I want and this is my gift for myself. I want something significant this year because last year was a disaster.

I am praying and hoping that I can really run for the marathon as a beginner and I hope this is the start of my new journey in life. 

July of 2011

Its July of 2011.

One year of pain and insanity that I had overcome. Those times when I was really in the dark and I was insane at that time. I felt like I had no one to run too because everybody has its own pains in life.

I do not like this month. It brings me pain and sadness that no one can ease even my family. They were incapable at that moment and only think of their own miseries in life.

Oh July... Do  you know how much I hated you...

Day 2 : First Week (My Desire to commit in Running)

Second day was a bit tiring since it was a gloomy morning when I woke. I'm suppose to wake up at 5:00 in the morning but woke up at 5:30 in the morning. The sun was not out yet when I started walking.

Cloudy morning when I started my run

As a part of my warm up I decided to walk from our house down to the plaza. From the plaza I started my run up to the cemetery. Its not that scary since its early in the morning and its a memorial garden so its spacious and really have a place to jog.

At the Matutum Memorial Garden Cemetery

I had five rounds before I stop. Funny thing is, I ave an application in my phone called Walkmate. Walkmate will count your steps while holding that mobile. The healthy goal is ten thousand (10,000) but I only made four thousand and sixty nine (4069).

I think I was not that satisfied with my run , I want to do more but I know I am not that physically fit yet to exceed on my limit. Tired but I feel worthy of that tiredness.

Lesson for my second day: 

Bring bottle of water. I forgot to bring bottle of water, good thing there is an open bakeshop already who sells bottle of water. I thought I will be dehydrated.. =)

Until tomorrow. I hope I can continue this desire of mine!

Day 1: First week (My Desire to commit Running)

Since its the Day 1 of my self training in preparation for running I just took small steps. Since I am also suffering from insomnia, I tried to sleep early to wake up early.

Waking up at 5:00 in the morning is very unusual for me because this is normally my sleeping hours and I know that it is not healthy. So, I guess committing myself to running is a good way to reverse my sleeping habits.

Today was very simple.  I just had 5 minutes of walk and 1 minute jog in pace and I repeatedly did it for three times before I run for 20 minutes. And now I feel very tired and makes me want to stop.

Another try again tomorrow.

My Birthday

It was like ordinary day.

Friends greeted me through mobile, social network like Facebook and Twitter and emails. Some of my closest friends greeted me exactly 12:00 AM of my birthday and the rest follows later in the morning.

I received a birthday cake as a present and ate a little of it since I wanted to do the challenge I set for myself. My plans for this year is to join the Milo Marathon and I want to be serious this time. I want to try running since I think it is a healthy addiction.

I decided to be passionate about running since I was following somebody in twitter who runs as his hobby. I think it will be a good idea for me to take running seriously. I do run before way back in college but after college, I was no longer engage into physical activities since I got separated with my male friends who were mostly my companion doing run along the beach of Cagayan De Oro.

This time, I want to get back in shape and want to join Marathon and became it a hobby. I was told that it will be hard for the first 15 days because my body will be adjusting but if I am that eager then 15 days will not be that hard.

So, I want to commit and devote some of my time here instead of working the whole time.

June 10 - A day before Natal Day

Its June 10 today and it is my Papa's birthday. Also, this a day before mu birthday.

Nothing so special but looking forward to add another year in my life. Last year birthday was full of sorrows and so today I want to have that adventure, hope, pain and happiness again.

I wanted to do something better in my life. I want to live life to the fullest. 

Holy Week

Take away the pain


The whole Lenten week was a bit of mixed emotions for me. The homily of the priest seems to be heart stabbing that really made me feel sad during those days. There are times that I read my twitter and all I can see are testimonies how great God is and Yes I know He is so great.

I was listening to the song entitled Anima Christi  and my heart really felt like it was stabbed from the pains I was enduring all this time.

 This was the same song I sang before my niece passed away in the ICU. All this time, I can still remember how she look like when she was at the ICU. The look that saying that "I'm waiting for my time." It really pains in the heart to see her. 

Denying the pain that I've felt for quite sometime and go on with the life I have now is more painful now that I reminisce each time. Those were the times that I questioned Him for the things that had happened with my niece and with my life. 

Those times that my niece was in pain, I could not even express my own suffering at that moment. Enduring the pain brought by that painful experience breaks me to the deepest roots of my Faith. Those times that I don't want to remember anymore but keeps on bugging me every night. The darkness that wraps my heart and the fear that keeps me hunting when there is no light. Tears that are invisible to my eyes but my heart was crying out loud of that pain. 

It became painful because of fear of how you will deal with it.

But also during the Lenten days, I was listening to this music entitled Lord, I Offer My Life to You. 

This song was really striking. Its like the pain I was carrying was broken into pieces and its starting to give space and now its like I can breathe. Its like the song was really saying that I offer my life to Him, my days to Him. The first stanza really fits to what I want to do. "all my regrets, my joy and my pain" "things in the past, things I've seen, all of my hope, all of my plans...." these words gave meaning not only to my ears that are listening at that moment but also my heart.

I know its not easy to take away the pain that I felt. I know its not easy to offer everything without thinking of  doing something that will ease the pain. But if there are no possible ways of resolving it with my own power. Then, I should turn back to YOU take that steps back to you. 

I will learn to offer and surrender this pain. If breaking me so that you can go through with me, then I think its time for me to allow that. 

I just realized now that I was too afraid of the things that was unknown to me, it was like the clock was ticking and all I can think is to spend every minute, hour and days. But now, I'd rather be it like that, to remain of the unknown and of what it will be that is going to happen.

This is the first time I celebrated Lenten season in the house. Resolving the pain was not that easy but I will try. I want to take away the pain.

So help me God.

He is in 3rd Year...

Finally, he is in third year college. One year to go and he will be graduating.



I'm really happy that he managed to reached third year. All the determination to finish college was really the important part that contributed Arnel to reached this part. I admire his determination for someone who came from far away place.





Wheew! Just hold Nel, everything will be alright

I can still remember him sharing me about his "first times" when we were together in Cagayan. Time move so fast.

For now all I wish for him is to be able to graduate and be able to help his family already.

Good luck Nel... You can do it this time again!

Always remember to return your blessings to others who are also in need of help not necessary who help you.

Moving On....?

Moving on is really hard when you are still in the situation and when you always think that you want to move on. But when you leave it and wait for the time when it becomes a memory, then I think before you knew it you’re smiling to the worst feeling you felt at that moment.

A friend of mine was almost two weeks in her crying moment. I feel bad for her because I know no words can take away her pain. Heartaches from a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship are normal and what she feels I think is normal. I’ve been through with that and maybe all the other human being who fell in love also.

It is like your heart is being crumpled deep inside and everytime you are alone all you can think was being with that person and then you just realized you start crying again. I think everybody felt this one. And I think my friend feel the same way too.

I do not know how to comfort her and let her understand that everything will just pass through. She is still in the stage of confusion and I think accepting also that it is the reality. All I can do is listen to her. Even though how much I gave her example how I move on, it doesn’t make sense at all. She believes in happy ending, that they will be together in the end. But there could be another ending and not all are like fairy tales.

While comforting her, I tried to reminisce what I actually did when I was in her situation. I could not even remember that I cried because I and my boyfriend broke up. All that I can remember was that the night before we broke up, we were texting and conversing to the point that I think we were arguing. Then I slept without saying goodnight and the next day I woke up like nothing happened but I knew we were over. Hahaha… very silly isn’t it? Yes, it is silly coz’ I ended up my almost 6-years relationship. I ended up by sleeping and not by saying “goodbye, we are over.”

Now, that I have a friend who shares the same feeling of what I have felt before and she’s asking me how I moved on. I told her, “I don’t know. All I can remember was that I felt like I was standing in the floor of pain for months/year and just like ordinary day, I felt normal. No more crumpled heart that makes my heart aching.”

I could never remember I cried for that break-up. All I can remember was that I was always spending my painful months going mountain climbing, trekking and anything outdoor activities. Good thing I did that. I met a lot of people and I find peace in my heart seeing the green horizon and the wide sky that calms my heart and mind.

Life itself is a moving on process like how I see the wide sky above; clouds are changing time to time. For me it signifies how time moves and how should life be enjoyed whether it is painful or happiness.

I never think that I should move on instead I enjoy the feeling of being in that painful part and I just knew it that for awhile that I’ve been enjoying that pain, I was no longer feeling painful instead I become happy.

I am Learning

There are things that I haven't learned from the four corners of my classroom and the four years that I spend in my college life.

I've done part time jobs during college years and was able to work after college. So I was expecting to have a job which is somehow related to my work experiences but this time I got a job different from what I expected.

I have to learn everything from the basic without any supervision or training from anyone. Plus the fact that it was my first time to be in this kind of workplace. It's a big adjustment for me but somehow I find it challenging.

When I signed my contract to my new employer, I felt like my feet are being tied up and there so many things that were running in my mind and mostly getting worried.
I felt tied up maybe because i am an outdoor person. I love hanging out with nature and engaging to sports. And now my only free time is Saturday and Sunday. Second, there are so many things rushing in my mind because the fact that I don't have working experience with my new work, only exposures during college day but that was long time ago. And thirdly, from the day I signed my contract till now and maybe until the first day of in my job, I am always worried. Hehehe...

But on the brighter side, well.. I've learned to understand and think outside the box. I 'm thinking of what I can offer, what I can get, and how can I improve. I used to tell my friends or colleagues that I'm not comfortable with a routine job but this one is different. I's routinary but I think I won't be boring.

This is not anymore about books and scenarios that I read. This is the actual, the real thing.It's like a book also but the words are hard to understand and the examples are getting complex as I turn the pages.


Good Luck to me...
I hope I can be able to read the complex words that the real world is writing on every page of reality.