55th Day - My 365 Days

55th Day:

New passport might be new beginning...

Early morning I prepared my documents for my passport renewal. I had this appointment 2 months ago. In order to get a passport here in manila, the applicant must get an appointment first before going to DFA.

So I did and the day I'm waiting for. I went at DFA and there line for Step 1 was so long, its like unending. When I went to Step 2 and 3, my priority number was 2633 and I can't do anything but to wait. So it was like patience is a virtue.

At first, I wanted to work outside the country. I thought of it as adventure and very independent but my perspective change. I don't want to live away from my home anymore but reality check I need to earn and to save. I'm so useless if I don't.

I have this weird idea, thinking of "I don't want to die away from home," things like that always gets in my mind. A friend told me that I should not be thinking like that but then I can't help it. Maybe, after what happened all I can say is, you'll never knew when will you disappear.

But on the contrary, new passport might be a good start for a refreshing life. All of those memories I had, I know it can't be erased but still I am hoping that those memories will let me go. I hope those bad memories will not bother me when I sleep or even when I'm awake. I'm so tired of getting afraid, afraid of things which are out of your control. I'm tired of those things that still no one can understand and comfort you. Those feeling and memories are too bad and too sad.

I will just think that those bad memories was just a part of y old passport, old place that I traveled. I wish this new passport can be a refreshing beginning.