88th Day - My 365 Days

88th Day:

Dilemma: I wanted to work but Its like I'm th e only one left for Mama...

Since year 2008, it was battle within myself. I knew that there are things to be prioritized not only choosing my career but also choosing what is right for the moment. I have always been attached with my mother, since then we were together after my father died. Even though we always quarrel with those little stuff, we are still together. She became my father at the same time.

But then, time move so fast, I have to earn for a living now. I cannot be dependent always with my family. Going abroad was the best option but lately, everytime I talked to my mother I can feel her loneliness everytime we discuss it making it hard for me to decide.

Discussing it with my sister also breaks my heart. I know we wanted to look after for my mother and the best and practical way to do it is to cancel my plans of working abroad. There are things that I think needed to be prioritized first.

My mother is not getting any younger. I understand how my sister feels when she saw Mama getting old everytime she went home. And I fear that too. Still, I have this youthful determination to work and make the most out of it.

If I opted to work outside would that be a selfish act?

If I stay here will it be helpful?

Things like this. I think this everyday!