70th Day - My 365 Days

70th Day:

When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in piece over time, like how the mail stops coming...

This day marks the 15 years of my father's death. I was young then and the very last moment I remembered him is still fresh, just like happened yesterday but I can no longer familiarize his face.

This day I can't help myself but to reminisce those memories I had before it happened.

It was sunny and ma & pa brought me to the dentist for my tooth extraction. We rode to the dentist using Papa's motorbike. He left me and ma at the dentist then he went back bringing some breads. He offered me a bread but I did not ate it, my tooth really hurt that time.

After the tooth extraction we went back and he cooked lunch. My brother was asleep those time and I was in bed too while waiting for lunch. After lunch, pa and ma were preparing to go to my school for a meeting.

I can still remember Pa asked me, "uban ka? (do you want to go with us?)" and i just replied "No." So they headed to my school...

Maybe at around 4PM, my aunt went to the house and my brother that time was eating is lunch. After awhile my brother went out the house and they were having conversations with my aunt. Then, my brother went in the house then instructed me to lock the door and wait for him to come back. He did not even finish his meal because he was in a hurry at that time.

I did what my brother instructed me to do. About an hour after, my aunt went back but my brother was not there (I think), I am not that so sure if he went back together with my aunt.

I can still remember Nanay Weweng went to the house and pick me up.

So we drove near at the highway but the car parked away from the Funeral Homes. It was on the other side of the road and I can see my mother on the other side of the road waiting for me. But I could not remember my mother's facial expression at the time she saw me because I was looking at my mother's wrist and I found my father's watch.

It was like at that moment, Pa was gone. Then we walked inside the Funeral Homes and I can still see his body lying in their. We were asked to watch him over and I think we took our turn that moment. All I can remember was, I was watching that yellow bulb while were inside the morgue and my brother left me for awhile.

I knew that my Pa was dead and I was looking at the yellow bulb and the shadow near me. I was thinking that he might rose from the dead. Stupid ideas from an eight-year-old.

WE went home around midnight together with my brother. He waited for me to sleep because I could not sleep at that time.

It was the last...

The last I remember...

The next thing I knew he was in the casket and people were crying when it arrived. The next thing day, my sister arrived from Cagayan de Oro. They were all crying and crying...

When it was the end of the mourn, I was the one who was crying so hard until we reach to the cementry.

Time passes by...

I can still remember his voices and the scent but every year something will change and replaces it with new memories.

When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in piece over time, like how the mail stops coming. I can still remember his voice and scent then it began disappearing. I forgot the smell and how firm his voice is (was).

Then everything was a bunch of stories of what he like and dislikes. Stories coming from my mom, sister and brother.

It is then 15 years ago...