Thoughts and feelings

There are times when things are unexplainable. It like all what happens and may happen should be accepted unconditionally. Time that you can give to someone or there are really events in life that you have choices but the choice must be done unconditionally. A feeling like that takes a great responsibility and I am taking mine now. Lately, my sister and I are busy in arranging schedules for her vacation. Before then I was so excited because she will go home and I can see her after five years. But the weird thing is I don’t know how to talk with my sister in personal. For years, our means of communication is the internet and cellular phones and I don’t know how to approach her. We spend a little time since I can remember because during her college years, she went to another place far from our place to study. I was in my elementary years then when she was in college, during my high school years she was away for work also. Same with my brother when I was just in elementary he went to Manila to seek for a good opportunity and eventually get married. We spend a little time together with my siblings; it is like the picture is just only the two of us, me and my mom. It hurts but it is the reality. But I never said they abandon us, they just left for a purpose, and that is to make our life better. It was I who felt being abandoned by my siblings. Growing up with no father at all, a brother who is away and no one can defend me at all with bullies, a sister who is away and there is no one I can tell secrets or share girly things about. It is only the two of us, me and my mom. Lately, my sister is planning to go have a vacation and indeed I was excited. But just three days ago, my mother sends me a message that our “yeye” (kasam-bahay) had already leaved the house. I was so worried and I could not think of a best solution but to go home and stay with my mother. Life has been exciting here in Manila since I am working. But it all change when I received the text of my mother. I can’t help myself from crying, getting worried about my mom. I can imagine that she is sleeping in her bed alone, waking up in the morning seeing nobody in the house but herself and go home with nobody awaits for her. All of these sink in my mind; I was in pain while thinking these things. So for days I have been thinking of what can I do. And the only thing that I can do is go home and be with my mom. This is the best solution I can think of.